Wretches of the Hidden Temple: Cruelest game show, played by worst children

I spent so many hours of my childhood watching Legends of the Hidden Temple. It never occurred to me think how Sisyphean the temple run sequence was. Now I think it might have preconditioned me to believe that failure is the most likely outcome of any undertaking. Thanks, Nickelodeon!

"The fretful coaching you hear is the voice of the show’s host, Kirk Fogg. It really makes for some fantastic free verse poetry:

She’s gonna have to go find a door
Gonna have to hit the door, the —
Gonna just have to hit the —
She gonna have to get a torch
Gonna have to get a torch and put it into one of the holes
One of the holes in the front, it’s the room with the three torches
Right in front of you
The very front
You have to put it, the torch in the hole in the front
No! The other hole in the front
In the very front”